


happier

by SkiesTheKye



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Bang Chan & Im Jaebum | JB are friends, Bang Chan & Lee Felix are Siblings, F/M, Fluff, Light Angst, M/M, Mentioned Seo Changbin, Minor Bang Chan/Kim Woojin, Minor Im Jaebum | JB/Mark Tuan
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-02
Updated: 2019-02-02
Packaged: 2019-10-21 01:43:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,351
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17633702
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SkiesTheKye/pseuds/SkiesTheKye
Summary: Your smile was like fire melting my heart but it was never for me to feel, was it.





	happier

The night was his favorite time of day.  
  
At least it used to be.  
  
Back when it didn't keep him up thinking, when everything still felt right in his heart and his mind.  
  
Back when he hadn't fallen in love.  
  
Chan was a firm believer that soulmates didn't exist. That was only for the movies, for love-sick pre teens that kept posters in their rooms of idols and movie stars that they'd probably never meet. It had never been for him, someone who never had the time for dating or couple things.  
  
Plus he had other more important things to worry about. He had a job and school and a possible internship at one of the greatest entertainment companies in Seoul. Getting a girlfriend or boyfriend at this point in his life would be a terrible idea.  
  
He wouldn't have the time to love someone to the fullest, he wouldn't be able to give them what they needed, what they deserved, when most of his everything went to his younger brother.  
  
Felix was only a few years younger than him and probably didn't need the coddling, but when they're parents felt like millions of miles away in Australia, he just couldn't resist making sure the boy had everything he could ever need. It's why he worked so hard, putting off his wants for Felix's. The real reason why he didn't have time for dating.  
  
It didn't matter though.  
  
He never had a Soulmate Burn to begin with. He was born without one, completely throwing doctors off guard. He was part of the .01% that didn't have his other half, another reason he didn't believe in soulmates. If someone could be born without one, it just didn't seem fathomable that anyone else could have a soulmate. It just didn't make sense.  
  
But he was fine with that.  
  
He had friends that didn't have their Burns, some who had them removed, others who had lost their soulmates and the Burn faded into a scar. He wasn't alone at least. His best friend had his Burn removed so he could be with his dance partner who had lost his soulmate during a fire.  
  
It was a sickeningly sweet love story that he had heard too many times by now, making him even happier that he had been born alone.  
  
He didn't need the pain of possibly losing the person he was supposed to be with forever or going through surgery because he didn't love his other half.  
  
That was more work than his already worked filled life could take.  
  
He preferred his life this way. He had friends that reminded him to take care of himself, his classmates constantly picked on him for being a loner, but still called on him when they needed help, and his brother, his sweet sweet brother, well he couldn't trade in family even if he wanted too. He was perfectly fine with this.  
  
Until he meet Woojin.  
  
His second year of College was going smoothly, he was still waiting on the application for his internship to be approved, and his classes weren't all boring.  
  
He was more excited for his music theory class, but he still had an hour for that to begin. He figured he could take a break to check some emails and maybe do homework that he wasn't actually going to do when he got home. He'd have to help Felix with his before he even thought about starting his own.  
  
He walked down to the on campus café, he might just get a head start on his english assignment. Not that it meant anything, it wasn't due for another week.  
  
He sighed, entering the building. It was a quaint place, with rustic furnishings and low hanging lights that casted a yellow glow across the dark oak floors. It reminded him of a store out of some cliche rom-com. He hated it and loved it at the same time.  
  
Chan had always done his best to avoid places like this, but it was his only option considering the library was closed for orientation and he didnt have a dorm he could just hole himself up in.  
  
He gripped his laptop bag tighter as he headed toward the order bay. There were too many couples sharing drinks and laughing that he thought he was going to vomit. He tried to ignore that though.  
  
He had nothing against happy couples. He had nothing against other people finding their soulmates, even though it was a ludicrous structure. He was just being suffocated with the reminder that he would never have that.  
  
He wasn't jealous. Just annoyed.  
  
He quickly ordered a small iced latte and moved to a seat away from everyone. If he was going to waste an hour he wanted to be as far away from anyone else he could. He wanted everyone to think he hated the world and just wanted to be left alone.  
  
Which in retrospect, he did.  
  
He fished his laptop out of his bag and waited for his drink to be made. Chan opened a few files and began a simple project for his theater history class. He didn't really know why he signed up for the class but it was simple enough and they literally watched musicals most of the time.  
  
It didn't take long for his drink to find it's way to his table. The barista who took his order set it beside his laptop without a word. He sighed, leaning back, cup in his hand. The café was overcrowded at this point, but he was still in the corner by himself being left unbothered by the chatter and crowd.  
  
Then he showed up.  
  
"I'm sorry. You seem super busy and I don't really want to bother you, but there isn't any other open seat. I was wondering if I could take this one. I won't bother you or anything. I have my own projects to do so you won't even-"  
  
"Just sit." Chan mumbled. The kid standing in front of him talked too much. He just wanted to finish his drink and spend the last 45 minute wait doing homework.  
  
"Ah, I just wish music theory wasn't an hour a part from biology." Chan looked up from his laptop at that.  
  
"Music theory, with Professor Chi?" The kid nodded, pointing towards him.  
  
"You too?" He nodded, leaning back in his seat. He finally took an actual look at the kid sitting in front of him.  
  
He was definitely handsome. He had dark brown hair cut in an undercut that framed his face, a sharp jaw line that could easily cut anyone, a boyish smile that upturned the corner of his eyes, and from this angle he had nice body proportions. He easily resembled a bear cub.  
  
"Interesting. Not many people take it. Why are you going?" He hummed, closing his laptop. Would be fine telling a complete stranger his passion. Most people thought he was lame, crazy for even thinking he could be a producer. Everyone thought it would be better if he was a teacher or something. He had always seemed so analytical, so left-brained that music and anything creative should have slipped his mind.  
  
But this was his passion.  
  
"I want to be a producer. Make music and such. Nothing to special." The boy's eyes widened.  
  
"Whoa, that's so cool. I didn't really expect that, but looks can be deceiving." Chan chuckled, shaking his head. Yeah, he knew what it must've looked like to a stranger. He was the scrawny nerdy type. He had long blonde hair that he pulled into a small bun, he'd been meaning to cut it but he never had the time, and he wore round gold specs.  
  
Very plain and ordinary.  
  
"And what about you? Don't tell me you just signed the form cause it sounded intriguing." The brunette laughed softly. It was a nice sound, not too over bearing. He liked it.  
  
"No, I actually wanna be a music teacher. Maybe try my hand a singing some time." The blonde nodded, taking a sip from his drink. It was interesting to him that this handsome man, who looked like he just walked out of a magazine wanted to be something as plain as a music teacher.  
  
He could've been an idol.  
  
Not just by look, but by personality and voice. Even though Chan had never he heard him sing, he had a feeling the boy could belt something out.  
  
"Oh, I'm Woojin by the way. Kim Woojin."  
  
After that Chan was gone.  
  
It didn't take long for the pair to become friends. Woojin was super easy going, he never had many complaints and he was just the sweetest person Chan had ever meet, well after his good friend Dahyun of course.  
  
It was a weird feeling to him at first. He wasn't used to making friends so easily. He only had about five, but they were the ones that had actually stayed around when he was being difficult.  
  
He hoped Woojin would be the same.  
  
The day Chan had introduced Woojin to his brother was the turning point.  
  
Normally people meeting Felix wasn't a big deal to him, but for some reason this was completely different. He was nervous for his friend to see the one person that held most of his attention.  
  
Plus he might've let it slip that he maybe had some feelings for his friend.  
  
"Awe hyung! You actually like someone." Chan sighed, rolling his eyes. It wasn't his fault. Woojin just had that air about him. He wouldn't be surprised if half of their music theory class didn't like something about the older.  
  
"Don't remind me. Just don't say anything about it okay. I really don't want him to know." He honestly didn't even want himself to know. He had only known the guy for about eight months and it wasn't even close to time for him to catch feelings.  
  
He really didn't think anytime would be the right time.  
  
"And yet I'm doing your hair. Plus you had me put bb cream and eye shadow on." The younger giggled, dodging a hit from his brother. "Hyung it's okay. At least your comfortable in your sexuality. I can't even get Binnie-hyung to let me do this. And he has such a pretty face."  
  
Chan chuckled, shaking his head. Felix had meet his soulmate a week after he meet Woojin and the boy couldn't contain his excitement when he told his brother. Chan! He's so cool and oh my god he actually thinks I have a nice smile. He even complimented my freckles! He said 'nice freckles' how cool is he?  
  
He had was happy for his brother. The younger deserved it. No matter what he felt about soulmates he would never take that away from his family.  
  
"Still. He's just my friend. He doesn't even know I'm pan."  
  
Woojin couldn't get enough of Felix.  
  
The brunette thought the younger was the cutest thing he had ever seen. He even mocked Chan about how their looks were different, how felix obviously had the better genes.  
  
It didn't hurt his pride like he thought it would, especially when Woojin mentioned he was the more handsome one anyway.  
  
"Felix is cute but you're handsome Chanie. He still has years to grow."  
  
His feelings grew even more from that.  
  
It was embarrassing. He shouldn't feel like this. He shouldn't be catching feelings at all. He didn't do dating, he didn't believe in soulmates and he definitely didn't have crushes.  
  
But with Woojin it was different.  
  
It was super frustrating to him, but he wouldn't ever say it out loud. He couldn't. It wasn't right to Woojin, who had a soulmate.  
  
It hurt when he found out, he should've known though. Everyone one had a soulmate. He was just the odd man out.  
  
"I was wondering since we meet that maybe we could've been soulmates, ya know since we match so well. But I didn't feel the Burn." Chan sighed, throwing himself over the older's back. They were laying in the his bed, supposedly studying, but none of that had even been started.  
  
"Its cause I don't have one. Born without it. I'm a freak." Woojin clicked his tongue, rolling out from underneath the blonde.  
  
"Don't say that Chanie. You're not a freak. Besides I don't care if you don't have a soulmate. It just makes you cooler." He snorted, throwing his arm over his eyes. He didn't feel at all cool about it though.  
  
Most people that he knew spent who knows how long looking for their soulmate and he didn't have that. Not that he wanted that. He didn't want to invest his life into finding his other half like everyone around him. But it would make his life easier.  
  
"I don't feel cooler. I mean don't you want to find yours?" He had to ask. He had to know if his friend, his crush was eager to find his soulmate or not. He needed to know if he was setting himself up for disappointment.  
  
"One day sure. But for now I'm fine with just this."  
  
He should've known better.  
  
Not even a month later Woojin had meet his soulmate. She was a nice girl, sweet with a bright smile, someone who matched well with his friend. He wanted to be happy for him. He really did, but he just couldn't.  
  
His heart hurt.  
  
He should've known this would happen. People with soulmates didn't date for long. Once they had their soulmate it was over. But what hurt most about this was that they weren't even dating, that Woojin didn't even know about their feelings. What hurt the most was Chan had known that having feelings for someone with a Soulmate Burn would destroy his heart. He knew that shouldn't have caught feelings. He knew that.  
  
And he still did it.  
  
He locked himself in his room.  
  
He didn't go to school. He didn't talk to his friends. He didn't see his brother. And he definitely hadn't seen Woojin.  
  
His friend had called numerous times, had shown up to his home and even tried to coax his brother into letting him inside. But nothing. He didn't want to look at the boy.  
  
The boy who smiled so brightly at him, who made him feel different than he had ever felt before, who actually didn't treat him different for not having a Burn. Someone who he actually liked more than a friend for the first time in his young life.  
  
He hated it. He hated everything about this.  
  
"Hyung? Can you please come out. I'm worried about you." Chan sighed. He knew he shouldn't worry his younger brother just because his heart was broken. "Um I also have someone here that wants to see. It's not Woojin-hyung either." He was about to get up when his bedroom door burst open.  
  
"Chan you bastard. You had my poor little Lix out here so upset. What's wrong with you?" He blinked hard, before rushing to the man standing in his door way.  
  
"Hyung!" Jaebum sighed, wrapping his arms tightly around the blonde.  
  
"Now you gonna tell me why you're holding yourself up in here?"  
  
He explained everything to the older. From the point of meeting Woojin to what happened weeks ago. How badly his heart was hurting and how badly he wanted Woojin to be happy even if it hurt.  
  
"Chan you know it isn't bad to having feelings for someone. Why are you always afraid to open up?" He shook his head.  
  
"Its easier this way hyung. I won't be let down later on." Jaebum sighed, shaking his head.  
  
"That's only hurting you more, love. Remember how me and Mark meet?" Chan nodded slowly. He definitely remembered. He had been told the story a lot. "He was already dating someone else, but our Burns glowed and I thought he would want to be with me instantly, but he made me wait. And what did I do?"  
  
"You waited." The ravenette smiled slightly.  
  
"I waited. For two years before his boyfriend found his own soulmate. I was hurt that he didn't want me, but he eventually came back to me. I waited cause I wanted him to be happy. The Burn is never easy to deal with Chan. You just have to learn how to work with it."  
  
He sighed. He knew it was going to be like this. He knee he was going to have to let go of these feelings. He wanted Woojin tl be happy. And even if it wasn't with him, he was going to make sure his friend got his happiness.  
  
The talk wasn't easy.  
  
He felt like he wanted to cry, vomit, and pee all at the same time. They went to the café they first meet at. Chan bit his nails, worried that this would all blow up in his face. That Woojin would hate him for ignoring for him.  
  
Woojin instantly punched his arm when he got close. Chan clutched his arms tightly, mouth open in pain.  
  
"That's for making me worry you dick. I thought you died." He snorted, rubbing the spot that would most likely bruise.  
  
"I'm sorry." He couldn't think of anything else to say. What was there to say. He was the worst friend ever. He caught feelings for someone with a soulmate and proceeded to lock himself away when said soulmate appeared.  
  
He was a dick.  
  
"Why did you disappear on me? Did I do something wrong?" Chan quickly shook his head.  
  
"No. Um, look Woojin. I- I like you. I've liked you for a while now. Ya know more than a friend. But you have a soulmate and I don't want to get in the way so I think I should just stop here." Woojin stared at him hard, eyebrows furrowing in confusion.  
  
"Are you saying we shouldn't be friends?" He shook his head once again, more violently this time. No, he would never want to stop being friends with the brunette. He was actually the first person who understood him better than his brother, better than himself even. He couldn't lose that.  
  
"Of course not! I just wanted to get it off my chest so that I could try and forget. Try to move on I suppose. I still want to be your friend, if you want to that is." Woojin smiled, reaching over to flick him on the forehead.  
  
"Bastard. Of course I want to still be friends. Why didn't you tell me you had feelings from the beginning you dork. I wouldn't have minded. Besides, we still have that project to finish. You can't leave me hanging even if you wanted to."  
  
Woojin was still his friend even under the circumstances. He would let his friend be happy with his soulmate, he deserved. He just glad that he got be in his life. Even if his heart still hurts.  
  
Then he meet Minho.  
  
Woojin had caught the flu that spring. The transition between winter and spring had been rough on the brunette and Chan was having an even harder time without his best friend.  
  
They had a project due for music theory, but they never had time to work together cause the brunette was stuck at home, his soulmate fussing over him 24 hours a day.  
  
He almost gagged on the confectioneries when he called to check up on the older.  
  
But she was taking good care of him and that's all that mattered.  
  
He spent the free time he had working on the project alone at the café. He told Woojin that he would get everything done and just slap the brunette's name on it so he would get credit for the work too. It didn't bother him at all.  
  
There wasn't anything he wouldn't do for his friend at this point.  
  
The café was strangely empty, but he preferred it that way. His normal table in the back corner, secluded from everyone else was vacant and he eagerly sat in his favorite chair with his latte, ready to waste his time working.  
  
He wasn't going to class today, figured it would be better to just catch up and then go home to cuddle with Felix while he talked about Changbin some more. He really liked that kid. He was the perfect person for Felix and even if they weren't soulmates Chan would still think they were made for each other.  
  
Corny.  
  
He had just taken his laptop out of his cash when he noticed someone sitting across from him. The boy was staring at him with narrowed eyes, eyebrows raised in a question.  
  
"Can I help you?" He asked, fixing his glasses. Normally people would ask to sit with someone before just doing it. This kid had no manners.  
  
"No." He stated simply, relaxing back in his chair. Chan raised an eyebrow in confusion. He had never meet a person so brash.  
  
"Then stop staring or go somewhere else." He really wasn't in the mood to deal with anymore strangers invading his personal time.  
  
He didn't want a repeat of Woojin.  
  
He had locked his heart up once again, never again to feel the warmth of someone else. He just wanted to be alone, like fate wanted him to be.  
  
The boy sighed, leaning slightly onto the table. "I'm sorry. It's just, this is my favorite table cause it's away from everyone and I like the quiet."  
  
Chan smiled slightly, taking a sip from his cup. He knew what that felt like. He had always favored the quiet, which didn't matter anymore now that he had been friends with Woojin and Changbin.  
  
"Yeah, it's nice. You can still here, just next time ask. You do have manners right?"  
  
The boy laughs and Chan is gone once again.  
  
The next few days were spent with the kid he meet at the same café where his heart was broke.  
  
Minho was a nice kid, kinda bratty, and he spoke his mind no matter the consequence. He liked that about the younger. It was way different than being with Woojin.  
  
He honestly didn't know how to feel about that.  
  
It was completely foriegn. Yet it was familiar. He liked it though. He liked it a lot.  
  
"Hyung what are you doing up so late?" His voice slipped Chan out of his inner thoughts. He turned around to find a sleepy Minho, rubbing his eyes.  
  
"Just thinking, go back to sleep love." The ravenette slipped his arms around his boyfriend, settling his face against the back of Chan's head.  
  
"Woojin-hyung?" It was no secret between the couple that Chan still thought about Woojin and what they might've been. He tried not to when he found out the Minho was made for him.  
  
Quiet literally in fact.  
  
Minho was also born with out Soulmate Burn.  
  
They had been talking one night over summer break, sneaking out of Chan's apartment to go to the lake behind the complex.  
  
It was peaceful and warm, fireflies were lighting up the place and the stars reflected nicely off the water.  
  
"So are you gonna tell me why you won't date me." He scoffed, dipping his feet into the slightly murky water. The ravenette had been asking him for almost three weeks now. They had barley even known each other for a few months before the kid asked him out.  
  
He hadn't meant to laugh, but what else was he supposed to do.  
  
He didn't date, never even thought about it before Woojin and still after Woojin he didn't want to.  
  
Minho knew that.  
  
He knew that better than anyone. They had talked about it so often that Minho should know that he didn't want anything to do with relationships.  
  
"I don't have a soulmate." He blurted. It was the first thing to come to his mind and he instantly regretted saying it. He never tells people that unless they bring it up. He doesn't want the world to know he's a freak.  
  
"So what? Neither do I. That doesn't really explain why you won't just go out with me." He flinched at that. No one else had ever said it so bluntly before. He's honestly never heard someone else say they didn't have a soulmate. Many people said not yet or they haven't meet. Not just outright they didn't have one.  
  
"I was born without it ya know. But that hasn't stopped me from living me life. I'll date and party until I meet someone who wants me with or without the burn. I thought that could be you, hyung."  
  
He looked up at the younger, confusion in his eyes. He had never thought about it like that before. Never even considered the fact that someone else would want him they way he was. He always thought the world would toss him aside cause he wasn't made for someone else, because he didn't have his other half.  
  
"I-" Minho smirked, elbowing him in the side. The ravenette chuckled then, throwing himself on his back.  
  
"Don't pop a vessel hyung. I'll let you think so more, but just know you can't let opportunities slip for nothing."  
  
He had never been more confused in his life than in the moment. It took him almost two weeks before he even could form a sensible response for Minho.  
  
"We can try this. But just know I'm not the easiest to get along with."  
  
And now months later Minho was still putting up with him.  
  
"Hyung, please come back to bed. We've got class in the morning." He was glad that Minho didn't push him to talk about it. He was glad the younger still loved him for all his flaws and his past embarrassments.  
  
He was just glad he had Minho.  
  
Even after having his heart broken by something he totally couldn't control, he was still set in his ways. Soulmates were awful, they could ruin lives, not everyone was happy with them, and even lost out on so much. Yet if it wasn't for the Soulmate Burn he would have never meet-  
  
"Minho-yah! Put me down!"


End file.
